the shenanigans of eenamorata

from John Piper's desiring God website ( see here ) or read on: Four years ago a teenager in our church wrote to me for advice about life in general, and identity in particular. Here is what I wrote, with a big dose of autobiography for illustration. Dear ________, My experience of coming out of an introverted, insecure, guilty, lustful, self-absorbed adolescent life was more like the emergence of a frog from a tadpole than a butterfly from a larva. Larvae disappear into their cocoons and privately experience some inexplicable transformation with no one watching (it is probably quite messy in there) and then the cocoon comes off and everyone says oooo, ahhh, beautiful. It did not happen like that for me. Frogs are born teeny-weeny, fish-like, slimy, back-water-dwellers. They are not on display at Sea World. They might be in some ritzy hotel's swimming pool if the place has been abandoned for 20 years and there's only a foot of green water in the deep end. But...

It's almost two weeks since I officially started this new shenanigan called teaching... I am more or less re-adjusting alright to it... I am actually having fun so far. For the first meetings of each class, I went back to my original routine of getting their personal information (for emergencies and contacting purposes), their expectations with the subject and a random question for me. The following are some of the questions that caught my attention... some of which I wasn't even able to answer... I'll try to answer them here. To be honest... I do not know. Kasi I'm still NBIL (bago kong version ng NBSB... Never Been In Love.. Oha!!!), so I guess when you have butterflies in your stomach? :) Dear student, I hope you asked the erased question instead, it'll be so much easier to answer. First question. Easy to answer. WALA. Second question. Hard. Why? (sighs) Why? (sighs) Why? (sighs) hahahahaha!!! Creative question.. in fairness.. I like Pizza ...

I read it once again. “Tell us something that does not appear on your transcript or resume that will give us a more complete picture of who you are,” the application form asks. I let out a weary sigh and lean back against the chair. It’s such a big question that I hardly know where to begin. I return to my resume and glance at the text filling up the page: Senior technology consultant. Global consulting. Change management. Financial analyst. Master in business administration. I cringe at the thought that these very words, hard-earned milestones of a seven-year career. Might lead to the rejection of my application. There is nothing in my past that caters to the new path I hope to trek. There is nothing in my past of seeming relevance and value to this field I want to explore. Why would a technology and finance professional consider the world of publishing? More importantly, why should its gates be opened to this outsider? The answer goes far beyond the simplistic answer: “I’...

So, I am finally making it official... I'm back at UPLB for a one year contract. It still feels dreadful (minsan lang), especially during moments when I am alone and when I have no one to talk to (which is palagi these days), kasi my plans did not materialize and because I am still beating myself up for the decisions that lead me to this situation. Pero its not dreadful naman talaga, its just that I still have some personal and spiritual (if you know what i mean) issues to settle with and I am still getting used to the niceness of living and working at UPLB. I did realize, however, that I have missed out on a lot of things when I got in the 7-4 Monday to Saturday work format. Now that work allows more flexibility with regards to spending time and all that, I will be doing more of the following: sleep write read cook ride a tren to Bicol (be cool in Bicol) ride the bus to Bohol go back to Mindanao hang out on coffee shops walk my dogs take care of my self cultivate ...

1. starry nights 2. home cooked meals 3. pets 4. fresh air (from photographycorner.com) 5. television (from sports4allfoundation.blogspot.com) 6. a more flexible sense of time 7. coffee shop culture 8. Greens everywhere 9. wide open spaces (from tripmondo.com) 10. hopefully some INTELLECTUAL and CULTURAL musings...   better this than sulking around i guess...

Finally she had the courage to put this down into writing... She has been sobbing, moping and sulking around these past few weeks (thus the silence); and she is becoming really good at not talking clearly to anyone (other than those she likes) about anything, and evading questions and people because it still hurts. But, she is getting over it.  In a nutshell, lets just say that the plans she had in mind (with regards to career and life) did not materialize and she is struggling with some lessons that she does not want to learn but God does want her to. Lessons about:  God having the final say in everything   The wrong being still wrong no matter how thick the sugar coating maybe (to try to make it look right to everyone) Giving up, letting go and moving on Stupid mistakes Trust Obedience contentment reality vs. idealism AND THOSE MOMENTS WHEN LIFE SLAPS YOU REAL HARD ON THE FACE (that it gets really red)  The girl knows that she has to get ...