the shenanigans of eenamorata

I was on a regular commute yesterday to school, was comfortably seated at the back of the driver's seat and I was just sound tripping to some random playlist on Spotify. As the bus traveled from Los Baños to Calamba, a tall, dark, well-built, and modest looking guy with a shirt saying that he comes from a government institution sat beside me. Was a little bit pleased to have a bit of an eye candy on a seemingly regular trip to the metro. Nothing extraordinary happened, he slept, I continued to let my thoughts fly etc.  Now, the bus really started to get jam-packed as it stopped in the last station before doing a non-stop run towards the expressway. This is where an old lady got in; and since everyone was standing already, the driver's assistant had her sit in front--on that part of the bus where they put the machine underneath. Not a comfortable position for a lady that is probably in her late 70's or early 80's.  I was comfortably seated on my favorite wind...

Today I am asking God of two things from 1 Corinthians 1:25. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. At this point in time, I need a little bit of God's foolishness to handle things that my cerebral heart could not understand. A little bit of God's strength to keep my heart steady and focused into the tasks that He wants me to face. Irregardless of how willing I think I am to entertain seemingly welcome distractions that are not pursuing me anyway. Giving up for the nth time, letting God take my heart for safekeeping. So that my foolishness will be cured by His and my weakness be supplemented by His strength. So that if anyone wants to have it, the only way to get it is through the pursuit of God alone.  

Una sa lahat, mahal ko ang aking bayan. Ito nga siguro ang kasalukuyang naguudyok sa akin para manatili at piliin ang pagtuturo sa unibersidad. Lubos akong nagaalala dahil hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin akong mapiling kandidato. Alam kong hindi ako magisa dito, pero ang weird lang this time kasi wala talaga akong mapili AT ALL.  Kasalukuyang mas lumalakas ang appeal sa akin na maging apathetic at mangibang bansa na lang para mas malaki ang kitaing pera. Itapon na yang idealismo nang paglilingkod sa bayan at paghubog ng mga iskolar nito crap kung ganyan lamang din naman ang mga pagpipiliang presidente. Mahal ko ang aking bayan, at nalulungkot ako dahil sa tingin ko... the Philippines deserves better candidates than the ones we have now. Wala akong mapiling presidente dahil: Ayaw ko ng presidente na walang moral compass. Lalo pa kung ginagamit niya ang kanyang kapangyarihan para mangamkam ng mga lupa at ariarian. Although nag aagree ako na may mga kandidatong tuso at maga...

I thought it would be fun to share some reflections on my personal quiet time today. It has been a while since I sat down to write and reflect about things that I have been reading, and I somehow had an "AHA" moment with it, thus the decision to share it here. My devotion today is from ODB, and the Bible reading is on Deuteronomy 6:1-12 The author started by acknowledging that God wanted him to say the things that he was about to say. Then verse 2 immediately follows with the effects f those things, such as,  my children and their children may fear the Lord, as long as I live and keep the commands that God was giving me. [an inter-generational promise.. pretty neat actually] enjoy life He then addresses Israel in general, sort of reminding them to follow and obey also. But, what caught my attention is that the reminder was again followed by its effects. Which are: so that it may go well with me increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey ju...

I am pretty sure that yesterday was a pretty good day. I got my requirements approved and I was given the privilege to attend to a pretty cool meeting with the vice president of our university. To be honest, I was a bit wary of her at the start because people were giving negative feedback about her. But, I stand corrected. Because, as I was observing her during the meeting, I was really impressed by her character. She seemed to be well-mannered, definitely educated, motherly, and she exudes an aura of humble confidence.  As we were presenting the report, I was really happy that her response was that of appreciation and enlightenment. Sulit pagod for the past few nights when I have been burning the midnight oil for it. Got more impressed when she told us that she did not know that we had other options for the university issues that we were trying to address. She said, We should not be emotionally attached to our decisions. Beautiful beautiful perspective! Today I am h...

Two big words that I figured is something that I probably need to learn soon or die sometime later. I have been majorly procrastinating (just like right now. hahaha. but I think I need to pour these thoughts down before being able to be productive again.. hopefully) about the things that I need to do, and am most of the time blaming the recent incidents of sadness, disappointments, hurts, fatigue, trauma, and whatnot dramas for not having the drive to do anything... for letting myself fall into the dark nights of the soul and for basically self destructing at some point. Now, I am deciding that it is time to move on. Along with this comes the realization that it is a blessing to have people to go and spill your heart with when these dark nights come. Being able to just talk and share and just have someone to listen, never fails to give light to a dark night. And, as painful as it sometimes is.. my daily devotions is teaching me that it is also a blessing to experience the people o...

The last few months were VERY busy (still is actually); but these ideas need to be written down before they get clouded with the innumerable stuff that are going on in my life right now. Not that there is actually anything going on going on lately... its just that I am terribly busy with the coursework for masters degree, a thesis proposal, a research paper that i volunteered in, a university position paper that i volunteered in also, an electrical plan, a utility application and an outdoor leadership camp that is coming in less than a month now. I am not able to focus on some actually.. but all these I need to do... My life currently revolves around these things... rather quite boring... or can be just too busy to accommodate much of social related events- especially romantic ones (which I never get anyway or maybe fail to notice.. whatever). I was in the library (which I frequent often these days), trying to populate the reading list that will be crucial for the formulation o...

I am okay. Am currently neither super high nor super low. I am just okay. It has been my 4th month as a graduate student, a semi-bum, a full-time MRT traveler (yeah that can be considered as a full time job), a data encoder, a racketeer engineer (engineer na rumaraket), a party planner, a concert program director of sorts, a camp planner of sorts, a BOT member, a poop cleaner, a part-time dog walker, a regular DLTB Cubao last trip bus passenger, a struggling person at weight management (kelan ba naging hindi), an emerging anti-social, a sometimes sad person, a sometimes happy person, and a full time lunatic i guess. I don't understand why most of these days are happening. Time has been flying down too fast and information has been flowing to fast also that I barely have time to process and comprehend everything. I wish I still have the time and the patience mostly to reflect and process things that have been going on lately. As forever is my battle cry.. this growing up thing S...

A lot has happened since I wrote anything about anything. I am basically the same person who travels on the side and does something full-time. My something full-time is the one thing that's different... I am currently taking up my graduate degree and I am somehow (surprisingly) enjoying it. Living away from home and dorm-ing is somehow surprisingly fun too. I am most of the time happy-ish with what I have, even though there are definitely some down-days where I'd dread the thought of going home to the dorm to dine ALONE in front of my computer. Everyday is now becoming a quest to look for healthy-ish food. Ever since I came here, my eating patterns and habits have definitely become chaotic, as my meals were today and yesterday: Today: Breakfast (9am): skyflakes (3 crackers), hansel (4 cookies) Lunch (2:30pm): rice, pinakbet, longganisa, cassava cake Dinner (9:45 pm): banana, calamansi juice, hansel (8 cookies), coffee Yesterday: Breakfast: skipped Lunch (5pm): ...

at 26 I am disappointed, at 26 I am frustrated, at 26 I am angry  and at 26 I am mad at God.  it has been months now of pasting smiles and laughing cued laughters. crying bitter tears to sleep is becoming too often. I am being too hard on myself for not achieving the supposed plan, for not getting something that I know I can do and something that I know I am definitely better at.  I had backups, I had plan Bs, but the sentiments of being a proud person is not really helping. I have no plans to be peachy preachy about better plans. I have no plans to force myself to feel better when I really don't feel like it. I will not force myself to do anything that I do not like. I will just let things be for now. I will let myself be mad. I will let myself cry bitter tears of frustrations. I will let myself hate. This will eventually pass. I will eventually be tired of being mad, be tired of crying and be tired of hating. I am letting myself fall. I do not want to...

These past few days were horrible. It was a series of one disappointing response after the other. These past few days were painful. It was yet again an experience of not getting what I want, not getting something that I wanted so badly and worked really hard for. These past few days were awful. The eyes have suddenly become a bitter stream of water that no haircut or telling the self to stop could make it stop from flowing. These past few days were hard because forgoing sad feelings in front of people is not easy. The pain is twice as hard when left alone. These past few days were draining. It is hard to cry one's self to sleep every night and paste a smile in the morning. These past few days were hurting. It is painful to slowly realize that one's hopes are sort of not happening any time soon. These past few days were tiring. The throbbing pain that the heart feels drains ones strength more than the usual everyday activities. These past few days were challenging. It is ...

Just dumping a few words... I have been writing less and less these past few months, mainly because I was busy, I was trying to be careful with what I write (apparently because I learned that some of my students find it worthwhile to read this blog) and I was am really a bit of a wreck.So, before I try to do anything else futile today (at 1542H) I guess I'd better write pour out my thoughts or whatever you call them--the mess inside my head. Teaching is still the main event of my day-to-day life. I was able to squeeze in a trip to Bacolod and Ilocos last August. My solo trip to Bacolod was quite an adventure. I was able to trace my roots, find a long lost friend, rekindle close friendships, acquire ALOT of unsolicited wedding advice (which was really fun-- even if I don't need it at the moment) and i almost got myself killed searching for an adventure. The trip to Ilocos was quite the opposite of Bacolod. I was with a group of students and colleagues, the env...

I've been meaning to do this long-ish post since way back before my 25th birthday. I wanted to evaluate what has become of my havoc life. But, since the before, during and after part of my birthday were terribly busy, I wasn't able to do it until now. Now... when I am suffering from a self-proclaimed quarantine due to excessive mucus production, headaches, sore throat and cough. Which is probably the result of being "terribly busy". I didn't expect May to end up as busy as it did. The trip to Cambodia and Thailand was planned way ahead, the UPCAT review stint was planned way ahead as well, and the other unexpected trips were quite expected.However, I failed to anticipate the physical stresses that it would give me... thus ending up like this. Incapacitated, tired, miserable, useless... Okay, that was OA. I'm just kidding. I barely moved a muscle today and I have been indulging on making palambing to my nanay, but that's it. I'm still up and ru...

Tapos na ang sem ko at libre na akong magsulat at magisip ulit ng kung anu-ano. Not that I do not think naman of kung anu ano when the semester is on-going (I am weird like that), pero ngayon naisip ko parang masaya maging MUNDANE. Una. ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng mundane? sabi ng Meriam Webster Dictionarydefinition 2: characterized by the practical, transitory, and ordinary: commonplace <the mundane concerns of day-to-day life> In short pagsinabi mong mundane, ito yung mga bagay na hindi importante. yung tipong mababaw lang. Pangalawa: Bakit ko naisip na parang masaya maging mundane? Kasi feeling ko (eto nagbubuhat na ako ng sariling bangko, pero honest lang) hindi ako mundane. to the point na kahit ako nakokomplikaduhan ako sa sarili ko paminsan. I am weird like that. I think about ways on how I would want to change the world, how I would want to create a positive impact in the Philippines, how I would like to get the coveted scholarship to further my studies para balang...

Numbers22:10-34  Stories of God's unfailing love never fail to warm my heart. So it was quite a treat to read about Balaam. Read on the link above for the Bible version. Here's my take on it. Baalam was some guy that some king assigned to put a curse on a people that have just come out of Egypt. Knowing that it was a command from a king, he'd probably get a lot of moolah for simply doing it. In the first place it was a no-brainer assignment, he didn't have to move much muscles in accomplishing the task.  But the Lord was not happy about it. He instructed Balaam to not do it. However, due to this ordinary guy's strong headed nature, he went on with the cursing task on a donkey. The Lord was not happy about what he did. So, he sent an angel to stop them.    When the donkey saw the angel for the first time, he went back and turned into a field. This earned him some serious beating from Balaam, until he returned to the road. The donkey saw the angel of ...

Yah yah! Friday's technically over, but here's a run down of today's events. I just have to tell why this Friday was fabulous. English Lessons - Masaya maging studyante ulit . Naaliw akong magaral, gumawa ng assignment, makinig sa teacher, at natatawa din akong nalelate ako sa klase. Nyahaha. siguro kung nagpapakanta din yung teacher ko (nagpapakanta kasi ako ng late sa klase) nakapagconcert na ako ng bongga. Kanina inaral ulit namin kung paano mag pronounce ng mga English words at nagaral din kami tungkol sa grammar. Nagaaral kami kasi balak namin magtake ng IELTS exam para sa inaasam asam ng scholarship. Isama niyo naman ito sa prayers dahil medyo convinced ako na kung hindi ako matanggap sa scholarship na ito e malamang sa hindi ay magiging tindera na lang ako ng balut in the future. Chit-chats - season of love ko daw ngayon ayon sa fearless declaration nung nagiisa kong classmate sa english lessons, at naku inday, wala kaming ginawa kanina kundi magchikahan tung...

I've been putting off my writing since I came back from vacation, there are too much excuses like back logs, dates, exams, lessons, etc. So, in between recording quizzes, giving out exams, checking laboratory exercises and preparing for lessons, here is my first blog entry for 2013. I had been hoping to write something special to start this blogging year; but the past few days have been a smorgasbord of events and what nots that I'm having a hard time to keep track of things. Here are some of my random thoughts before and during the first two weeks of the new year. 1. TRAVELLING what better way to enjoy the Transfiguration Monastery in Bukidnon? travel with a bunch of nuns and attend the beautiful service that the monks facilitate every 11:30-ish am. :) I am not a professional travel blogger and I feel noob-ish whenever I write about my shenanigans... but I do write about them . I am just a part-time dog walker, part-time bum and part-time mambobola. But, I LOVE...

Here goes the 12.12.12 craze; a once every millennium kind of thing and according to the Mayan Calendar or whoever they are, today's supposed to be the end of the world. But, I don't give a crap to any of that. I still have English lessons for later, classes to prepare for tomorrow, several parties to attend to, a big-ish party to host, and a Christmas travel gift to look forward to. I am also looking forward to reconnecting with friends and family this season. Looking forward to a time of  reflection during the two week vacation. I also WANT gifts ( a very ironic post from my last one. hehe ). I'm gonna be honest to myself; these are the more feasible things that I can ask people for. Nyahahaha. Kasi I know na if I ask for a boyfriend or a scholarship grant in a snap it will not happen agad agad. Hehe. Kidding aside, here they are na nga. a desk calendar pad . (for keeping track of exams, schedules and deadlines in the grown up world office) something that...