The 30 day exercise. Day 01

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It's been a while since I've been here. It's quite interesting to look back and see how the old me thought, and how much I still feel the same in some ways while also being different in others. I think I want to try and revive this space because I've been feeling a bit lonely and wanting someone to talk to at the end of the day. And since it's usually just me and my dog after long days at work or on weekends, I thought maybe I'd write it down instead of paying for a therapist.


So, I'm currently at a crossroads. I think I know what to do for the next year, but I still don't know the answer to the "where" part of things at the moment. But more than that, I kind of want to assess where I'm at. I saw this Instagram reel (I know it's not the most reliable source, but it seems okay) about a 30-day exercise where I carve out 15 minutes of my day to answer three questions in a notebook. Instead of writing in a notebook, I'll write here instead.


Starting today (September 1), I'll try to answer three questions at the end of each day:


What filled me with enthusiasm today? 

Other than my dog.

The intentional and unintentional meals I got to share with friends. I didn't expect one of my housemates to invite us to eat some Filipino food he cooked. I was forced to come out of my cave (aka my room) and socialize, which turned out to be nicer than expected. I also invited some colleagues for a dinner catch-up. It was a bit work-related, but having some people to share meals with today was still nice. 


What drained me of energy today?  

House chores, and mostly the caffeine headache I was nursing during church. I kind of forgot to drink coffee this morning. I couldn't focus on the sermon, and it felt like I was about to faint during the service. Afterward, I had my coffee, and then I felt better. The recent developments in the Israel-Hamas war have also drained me emotionally; my feelings are still deeply invested in it.


What did I learn about myself today? 

I learned that I'm still struggling with being intentionally empathetic in some administrative roles that I need to fulfill. It's a tough balancing act.

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