mending her broken heart

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Finally she had the courage to put this down into writing...

She has been sobbing, moping and sulking around these past few weeks (thus the silence); and she is becoming really good at not talking clearly to anyone (other than those she likes) about anything, and evading questions and people because it still hurts. But, she is getting over it. 

In a nutshell, lets just say that the plans she had in mind (with regards to career and life) did not materialize and she is struggling with some lessons that she does not want to learn but God does want her to. Lessons about:
  •  God having the final say in everything 
  •  The wrong being still wrong no matter how thick the sugar coating maybe (to try to make it look right to everyone)
  • Giving up, letting go and moving on
  • Stupid mistakes
  • Trust
  • Obedience
  • contentment
  • reality vs. idealism
  • AND THOSE MOMENTS WHEN LIFE SLAPS YOU REAL HARD ON THE FACE (that it gets really red) 
The girl knows that she has to get up and move on because life eventually has a next chapter, and as Maggie Thatcher has verbalized it:

 "Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become...habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny! What we think we become. My father always said that, and I think I am fine."
She knows that if she kept on thinking about her being the looser that she thinks she is right now (because of what happened), then she'll eventually become one and she definitely does not want that. She will not make a stupid mistake make her stupid, and it will not keep her from chasing her dreams and pursuing the far fetched reality of her wanting to change the world or something. 

The situations and lessons that she's learning is not easy (thus the sulking and moping around), but she is taking efforts to make baby steps to eventually learn, conquer and get over it in the near future. 

She tried on hats, and make-up at a department store with a few friends...



She helped with a short advertorial for an HIV awareness campaign at some youth convergence...




She went to Tiendesita's with some expat friends (boy it was nice there)...



And they saw a FREE cultural show of different Filipino dances... (I am not sure if they are still showing it this month.. though am still encouraging you to check it out)




She went to a duck farm...


took photos of a deer family




saw and ostrich for the first time.. took some failed snap shots (but it is an ostrich.. promise)



watched A LOT of movies
doing exercise videos
signed up for a teaching demo
got hired
branded as "employable, but with correctable defects"
got spoiled with Bacolod delicacies from tatay
is due to go to the dentist later this afternoon


She has realized that mistakes and failures are part of the package, and that youth is still on her side with regards to committing such things. Its there to teach her a lesson, a lesson that she will definitely not forget.

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