thinking space
Just dumping a few words...
I have been writing less and less these past few months, mainly because I was busy, I was trying to be careful with what I write (apparently because I learned that some of my students find it worthwhile to read this blog) and Iwas am really a bit of a wreck.So, before I try to do anything else futile today (at 1542H) I guess I'd better write pour out my thoughts or whatever you call them--the mess inside my head.
Teaching is still the main event of my day-to-day life. I was able to squeeze in a trip to Bacolod and Ilocos last August.
My solo trip to Bacolod was quite an adventure. I was able to trace my roots, find a long lost friend, rekindle close friendships, acquire ALOT of unsolicited wedding advice (which was really fun-- even if I don't need it at the moment) and i almost got myself killed searching for an adventure.
The trip to Ilocos was quite the opposite of Bacolod. I was with a group of students and colleagues, the environment was very confined (because we do not want dangers), and there was a fixed itinerary. I really had fun relating with some of our students outside the classroom. It was quite a long bus ride though, a bit tiring, but still is fun.
We also went on a class field trip to an industrial facility in Laguna. It was an effort to pursue a principle to teach my students things outside the classroom. It was also fun and very very informative.
Those trips were able to divert my attention from my daily routine. Now, I am back at LB. Ever since my epic LB-comeback, I have lost the drive that I once had when I started working. I used to keep a schedule to be organized and I used to pressure myself all the time. Now I am just living at subsistence. Lulling one-day at a time.
So far, things have been working out well with the my one day at a time routine. Natatapos ko naman ang mga dapat tapusin kahit hindi na ako ganoon ka organize at ka enthusiastic tulad nung dati. Maraming mga araw na nahihirapan ako sa lull ng daily routine ko sa LB. Maraming mga araw na natututunan kong kailangan labanan ang lungkot. May mga araw din naman na hinahayaan ko ang sarili kong lumangoy sa kalungkutan at dahil hindi ako marunong lumangoy nalulunod ako. Minsan hindi ko naman alam kung bakit ako nalulungkot, siguro parte ito ng quarter-life crisis or whatever you call it pero hindi na lang ako nagrereklamo o nagiinarte kasi in the first place komportable naman ang buhay ko dito at feeling ko wala akong karapatang magreklamo kasi mas maraming may madramang mga nararanasan.
At the moment, I was able to finish my promotion papers, the prefinal standing of two of my subjects and I am currently doing a research proposal for the university's readiness to open access in the electricity market, curriculum revisions on two subjects, exams for three of my subjects, an electrical design for a university establishment and I am processing some shoot the moon scholarship requirements.
I am not sure if I am okay... but I try to be. I am not content with my teaching performance this sem and I find it a blessing and still quite a surprise when students say that they enjoyed my class. Probably because I am half liking them and half trying to like them anyway.
I have deactivated my facebook account because I felt like I have been spending too much time on it; so I am sort of not activating it until I am done with the scholarship applications at least. There are nights when I cry myself to sleep, but there are also a few nights when sleep is good. Evenings are slowly becoming a dreaded time of day kasi other than walking my dogs all else about evenings feel dreadful? I tried drinking myself to sleep to fix the sleeping problem at that pero I duuno if it was effective.. I had a dreamless sleep... and I didn't wake up in the middle of the night because of an asthma attack. So probably it was good.
Its probably the humdrum-ness of things that is making me feel down and sort of unhappy. Pero if there is one thing that I am really trying hard to do and learn is that happiness is a choice... it is a conscious effort and it is hard.
I have been writing less and less these past few months, mainly because I was busy, I was trying to be careful with what I write (apparently because I learned that some of my students find it worthwhile to read this blog) and I
Teaching is still the main event of my day-to-day life. I was able to squeeze in a trip to Bacolod and Ilocos last August.
My solo trip to Bacolod was quite an adventure. I was able to trace my roots, find a long lost friend, rekindle close friendships, acquire ALOT of unsolicited wedding advice (which was really fun-- even if I don't need it at the moment) and i almost got myself killed searching for an adventure.
The trip to Ilocos was quite the opposite of Bacolod. I was with a group of students and colleagues, the environment was very confined (because we do not want dangers), and there was a fixed itinerary. I really had fun relating with some of our students outside the classroom. It was quite a long bus ride though, a bit tiring, but still is fun.
We also went on a class field trip to an industrial facility in Laguna. It was an effort to pursue a principle to teach my students things outside the classroom. It was also fun and very very informative.
Those trips were able to divert my attention from my daily routine. Now, I am back at LB. Ever since my epic LB-comeback, I have lost the drive that I once had when I started working. I used to keep a schedule to be organized and I used to pressure myself all the time. Now I am just living at subsistence. Lulling one-day at a time.
So far, things have been working out well with the my one day at a time routine. Natatapos ko naman ang mga dapat tapusin kahit hindi na ako ganoon ka organize at ka enthusiastic tulad nung dati. Maraming mga araw na nahihirapan ako sa lull ng daily routine ko sa LB. Maraming mga araw na natututunan kong kailangan labanan ang lungkot. May mga araw din naman na hinahayaan ko ang sarili kong lumangoy sa kalungkutan at dahil hindi ako marunong lumangoy nalulunod ako. Minsan hindi ko naman alam kung bakit ako nalulungkot, siguro parte ito ng quarter-life crisis or whatever you call it pero hindi na lang ako nagrereklamo o nagiinarte kasi in the first place komportable naman ang buhay ko dito at feeling ko wala akong karapatang magreklamo kasi mas maraming may madramang mga nararanasan.
At the moment, I was able to finish my promotion papers, the prefinal standing of two of my subjects and I am currently doing a research proposal for the university's readiness to open access in the electricity market, curriculum revisions on two subjects, exams for three of my subjects, an electrical design for a university establishment and I am processing some shoot the moon scholarship requirements.
I am not sure if I am okay... but I try to be. I am not content with my teaching performance this sem and I find it a blessing and still quite a surprise when students say that they enjoyed my class. Probably because I am half liking them and half trying to like them anyway.
I have deactivated my facebook account because I felt like I have been spending too much time on it; so I am sort of not activating it until I am done with the scholarship applications at least. There are nights when I cry myself to sleep, but there are also a few nights when sleep is good. Evenings are slowly becoming a dreaded time of day kasi other than walking my dogs all else about evenings feel dreadful? I tried drinking myself to sleep to fix the sleeping problem at that pero I duuno if it was effective.. I had a dreamless sleep... and I didn't wake up in the middle of the night because of an asthma attack. So probably it was good.
Its probably the humdrum-ness of things that is making me feel down and sort of unhappy. Pero if there is one thing that I am really trying hard to do and learn is that happiness is a choice... it is a conscious effort and it is hard.
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