the shenanigans of eenamorata

What filled me with enthusiasm today? Playing with the scoresheets! It felt good and satisfying to code again.  What drained me of energy today? Unprofessionalism and disregard for time. It baffles me how official, non-urgent leadership meetings without a proper agenda can be scheduled just a day before, and everyone simply accepts it as if there's nothing wrong with wasting people's time and energy on inefficient meetings.   What did I learn about myself today? Being in my current institution, I thought I had completely changed, but I’m pleased to realize that I still hold onto certain values and standards. I don’t want to lose them; in fact, I want to intentionally preserve those values and standards.

What filled me with enthusiasm today? A good, slow breakfast with friends at a café with a beautiful view. And sleep! What drained me of energy today? I'm not sure if I can even consider today legitimate. I wasn’t functioning for three-quarters of the day. Several things contributed: waking up super early and not being able to sleep well because I was worried I wouldn’t wake up on time and additions to the set schedule that was stamped in my brain. What did I learn about myself today? I learned that I still struggle with accommodating additional plans that weren’t part of the original schedule. I can tolerate it better now, but not without some internal challenges.

   What filled me with enthusiasm today? Definitely the lunch date with Zaza and Stef. It provided me with some much-needed respite from a hectic time. We had a lovely time sharing life and conversations. We also agreed to follow a guide that encourages us to try and read the Bible from cover to cover. We started with Day 01 today, which was, as expected, the first chapter of Genesis. It was exactly the intellectual fix I had been craving for quite some time now. I love my job, and I know it's within academia, but it's mostly about giving to others. I hate to admit it, but I haven't been receiving the intellectual stimulation I need from where I spend most of my time lately. Today, however, we spent around four hours sharing our thoughts and hearts with one another. It was the mental exercise I needed to feel truly rested. It felt like a safe space.  What drained me of energy today? Waking up early on a Saturday morning because I had to facilitate an admissions procedure f

  What filled me with enthusiasm today? Besides spending time with my dog, I definitely enjoyed sleeping! After a long day at work and handling some schedules for my students, I went home, had dinner, and crashed. Gone are the days when Friday nights were filled with outings and parties—because this girl just isn’t that cool anymore. That also explains why I’m writing day 06 on day 07. What drained me of energy today? It was the additional work after hours. I don’t know, but work always feels like it all comes crashing hard on Friday nights. It didn’t help that some students requested makeup tests after school hours yesterday, so I had to stay longer than I was supposed to.   What did I learn about myself today? I learned that I’m really bad at online dating. No wonder nothing has worked. But in my defense, when my social battery runs out, it’s completely drained. Sometimes, I don’t even have the capacity to talk to anyone, let alone put in the effort to get to know someone from the ot

What filled me with enthusiasm today? Besides spending time with my dog, I enjoyed being in the classroom with my students, particularly my Grade 12 Science classes. I love that I can now interact with them more comfortably, or at least it seems that way. I find it both funny and endearing that one of my students has been calling me "bruh," though I know I really shouldn’t tolerate it. What drained me of energy today? Today was mostly fine. I'm still happily overwhelmed with work, but it felt manageable since I was still able to go to my side hustle and start a new term in my graduate studies. One point of stress, however, is that airfare prices remain incredibly high. I still can't book my flight home for December, and I dread Philippine airports during the holidays. Christmas is nice, it gives me all the warm fuzzies just thinking about it, but the airports during that time are just dreadful. So, I'm not excited about that, and I’m quite frustrated with the tick

What filled me with enthusiasm today? Besides spending time with my dog, I am enjoying the benefits of my experience. I find it invigorating to teach and share what I know with confidence. It feels good to be able to share what I’m currently sharing with less preparation and stress. The sugar high is still working, and I haven’t had any headaches today. What drained me of energy today? Work. There was so much work that the day didn’t seem long enough to finish everything. I think it’s part of my cycle. I remember feeling this overwhelmed and on autopilot just before burning out. Ha! I just feel tired in general. What did I learn about myself today? Besides being a caffeine junkie, I’ve realized that I’m also a work junkie. It’s still hard for me to say no to extra work, but I’m learning. I’ve been actively and consciously saying no to side hustles lately and directing them to a colleague who’s looking for additional work. Learning to say no to work is part of my character development.

  What filled me with enthusiasm today? Besides my dog, it was caffeine and sugar that got me through the day. I decided to ditch the diet and treat myself to a second cup of coffee with sugar. It was so uncharacteristic of me, but it miraculously relieved my headache. I actually felt better after that caffeine and sugar kick. Could it be that the headaches are from low sugar? What drained me of energy today? Today was actually a bit better than yesterday. It’s still busy, with plenty of backlogs and distractions to deal with, but nothing out of the ordinary. If I had to pinpoint something that drained me or maybe just irked me today, it would be the pre-emptive questions and admin-related issues thrown my way. It was fine, just work. But what really got to me were the questions I might not have the answers to, though I definitely knew the reasons behind them asking. I was just pretending not to know their reasons What did I learn about myself today? I’ve made significant progress in h

What filled me with enthusiasm today? Besides my dog, I finally decided to purchase the new mini rice cooker. There’s just something comforting about warm rice.  What drained me of energy today? There was just too much work. The free pockets of time after my 7-4 work day were spent trying to breathe and take care of myself. I have a lot of backlog with grading my students' papers, writing teacher feedback, making report cards, and so on. It's just too much. I don't know how I can cope. So really, it was all about work today. And forget the diet—I needed some sugar today. Despite the coffee fix I had in the morning, I was still nursing a bad headache throughout the day. I’m not sure if it's still caffeine-related. What did I learn about myself today? I think I'm tired and overworked.

It's been a while since I've been here. It's quite interesting to look back and see how the old me thought, and how much I still feel the same in some ways while also being different in others. I think I want to try and revive this space because I've been feeling a bit lonely and wanting someone to talk to at the end of the day. And since it's usually just me and my dog after long days at work or on weekends, I thought maybe I'd write it down instead of paying for a therapist. So, I'm currently at a crossroads. I think I know what to do for the next year, but I still don't know the answer to the "where" part of things at the moment. But more than that, I kind of want to assess where I'm at. I saw this Instagram reel (I know it's not the most reliable source, but it seems okay) about a 30-day exercise where I carve out 15 minutes of my day to answer three questions in a notebook. Instead of writing in a notebook, I'll write here inst